Armour of God (VCD) (Digitally Remastered) (Joy Sales Version) (Hong Kong Version) VCD

Jackie's take on Indiana Jones has already trumped Raiders of the Lost Ark by the end of its first five minutes (and almost killed its star). Chan plays Asian Hawk, a grizzled two-fisted adventurer/archeologist with the bouncing hair and tight abs of a hyperactive manchild. Jackie's at his most hard-bitten here, at one point growling dirtily at co-star Maria Irene Fornes like a Hawk in heat.

His foes are equally debauched. Originally slated to be a Catholic vs. Islam kind of movie, the plot was sensibly changed to avoid offending religious sensibilities. The resultant baddies are a cult of dissolute Euro-swingers who dress like jolly vicars, live in a mountain in France, and want to steal the titular Armour of God. Given to pseudo-evil pronouncements like "Happy hour begins!", this pack of fiendish friars prove more than a match for Jackie when they kidnap and brainwash Rosamund Kwan, who plays the mind-controlled cultist to a "t" (with her big, lost eyes and pixie haircut she'd look perfectly at home handing out pamphlets in the airport).

The Asian Hawk used to be in a band named the Losers with real-life Cantopop King Alan Tam (who used to have a band called the Wynners). Rosamund was in the band, as well, in love with both fellas although she ultimately picked Alan, and when the evil cult kidnaps her, Alan goes to Jackie for help. Jackie and Alan can't stand each other, but reluctantly they team up and go to rescue the lady in distress. Along the way French motorhead, Remy Julien, choreographs a priceless car chase which winds up with Jackie and Alan cozily ensconced in a micro-car built for one allowing the wicked minded amongst us to speculate on who's zooming who.

The movie globetrots aimlessly for a while before the final twenty minutes, but what a scorching final twenty they are. I won't ruin the big showdown's villain for anyone, except to say there are four of them and they'd look more at home in Shaft than in a Jackie Chan movie.

Filmed in Yugoslavia, France and Hong Kong the picture is a minor delight and a lovely Jackie Chan travelogue. Tam is a trip, popping about like the Cowardly Lion and dispensing horrible romantic advice, while Jackie juggles a hardboiled performance with directing duties (he took over from Hong Kong funnyman Eric Tsang after Tsang had spent 2/3 of the budget on 1/3 of the movie).

For those who like the Chan charm, this movie's got it in spades. Funny, cock-eyed and with enough action to entertain the kids, Armour of God is an underrated Chan flick with Chan at his laid-back best.

by Grady Hendrix