The Seventh Curse (DVD) (Hong Kong Version) DVD Region All

Starting with a brandy toast between Chow Yun-fat, Chin Siu-ho and Wisely scribe, Ngai Hong, The Seventh Curse combines JC Penny's photo portraiture with Italian cannibal skeeze in the stomach of genius exploitation director Nam Nai-choi (Story of Ricky, Erotic Ghost Story, Peacock King). Based on Ngai Hong's popular Wisely character, with a script by Wong Jing, this movie is a litmus test for potential Hong Kong film fans. If you can take the whiplash genre switching, inexplicable supernatural events, Chow Yun-fat's constant deus ex machina appearances, and the crazy cart of genre conventions lifted from horror, action, and sex films then you can sleep secure in the knowledge that there's more where this came from. If you find the mix isn't for you, you can always watch Once Upon a Time in China again.

Chin Siu-ho plays Wisely sidekick, Dr. Yuan, who went out adventuring without Wisely (Chow Yun-fat) and was abducted by the Worm Tribe. The worm tribe doesn't worship money or power but Old Ancestor, a hyperactive skeleton with bulging eyes, a blood-smeared grin and the upsetting tendency to transform into a head smooshing alien that flies. Rescuing Betsy, a nubile young native from a non-worm tribe, Dr. Yuan gets captured and fed magic bullets that erupt from his limbs during sex. Being a hyper-sexed playboy, this greatly reduces the quality of his life. Wisely (who can light a fire, diagnose a blood curse, or trap a screeching worm baby in a net made of goat placentas) offers a quiet reprimand to Dr. Yuan for adventuring without him (see what happens? A blood curse.) and off goes Yuan to get cured with the hair of the worm that bit him. Dick Wei joins in, and later Wisely shows up with a private army. Special effects ensue.

The finale is a showdown in slime with Old Ancestor (in both his non-fat and highly caffeinated forms), flying screaming worm baby, Elvis Tsui in a hard rocker wig, vine-swinging Buddhist monks and Wisely toting a rocket launcher all playing important parts. And did I mention Maggie Cheung is on hand as a cub reporter in tube socks who can disarm booby traps and is a multi-millionaire? Or Betsy whose breasts contain tumors that can stave off the blood curse when eaten? Or a hotel that gives out munitions instead of fruit baskets when you check in? Well, now you know.

by Grady Hendrix