Vendetta VCD

Ray Lui's a happy, expectant cop with a nice wife who's a little bit nerdy looking but in a cute way. Now she's pregnant (of course) and Ray's rushing her to the hospital, and even though she's a tiny little woman giving birth to twins, there's still time to have wacky Lamaze accidents on the way.

Then there's another happy family headed up by Tommy Wong (whose acting talent increases in direct opposition to the size of the budget he's working on - as the movies get cheaper, he gets better) with brother Tony and sister Cindy. They like to play with guns, and stick knives through peoples' mouths and drop babies accidentally on purpose. They laugh a lot and play (with grenades) and giggle and take hostages and get in a shootout with the police and then Ray has to shoot Cindy and Tony (bad kids!) right between the eyes because they're getting too rowdy.

At just that moment, Ray's wife gives birth and wouldn't you know it...it's a twin boy and girl with birthmarks right where Ray shot Cindy and Tony. Ray scoffs at partner, Kent Cheng's, offers of supernatural protection, so you know he's setting himself up for a fall. Sure enough, his two babies are daddy-hating, parrot-killing, goldfish-eating, gun- toting, ear-stabbing, finger-chopping killer babies from hell. They even help break Tommy Wong out of jail because they need adult help to wrap their pudgy little fingers around the trigger of a gun.

Despite some friendly last minute special effects, this is a flat out horror film that's got the creepy goods, tapping into many new parents' fears that their kids are out to kill them. So the next time your baby wakes you up for the twelfth time in one night, and you run to its room and you get there and it's not crying, just staring up at you blissfully, check its forehead. If there's a little red mark there, get the bomb.

by Grady Hendrix