I won't spend any time going into all the stories about how The Brilliant Green's lead vocalist Tomoko Kawase somehow created and began performing under the current Tommy heavenly6 alter ego. Anyone who buys what Tommy heavenly6 (or february6, her other alter ego) is selling already knows about what the possibly schizophrenic rock star is about, so it would be best to simply think of her latest album I Kill My Heart - her 3rd under the heavenly name and her 5th solo album overall - in purely musical terms.

And on that, there's a little more to I Kill My Heart than just looks and created personalities. It is a deconstruction of the pop-rock genre, leaning towards a darker rock sound and lyrics while maintaining a colorful image. However, whether this is a conscious decision on Kawase's part or her perceived image of her music's Western counterpart is a completely different matter. Also, whether this so-called deconstruction goes beyond conceptual inspiration and public image into good – not just listenable or entertaining – music is crucial to the album's success. Sadly, I Kill My Heart only reaches halfway there. The problem is that the album almost never changes up its game. Each song may appear different on paper for Kawase, but they're all arranged with the same style of guitar arrangement and delivered in the vocal style from beginning to end; it's essentially delivering different plates cooked in the same style. No matter how different the ingredients may be, the flavor is essentially the same for each plate. Fortunately, that problem is helped by the considerably short 39-minute length and the energy the guitar arrangement gives throughout. Sitting through I Kill My Heart in one sitting is not a painfully tiresome experience, but those looking for a different rock sound in a character with as interesting a past as Tommy heavenly6 may be sorely disappointed.

The sound of the album leans closer to western punk/pop-rock, even though the composition and the lyrics are more emotional than one might expect from this type of hybrid. This is exemplified by opening track Wait for Me There (Track 1), in which Tommy's typical sweet Japanese pop idol voice is matched by melancholic composition and lyrics. On the other hand, it also features barely-comprehensible English lyrics such as "The candy house is screaming out!/I'm running through the dancing tombstones/The pumpkin fields forever!" to deliver its introverted emotions. Then again, maybe it's not so far away from western rock music after all.

Despite the melancholy throughout, there is some fun to be had at points during the album. Shut Up takes an angrier approach than the pleading lover role Tommy takes in the first part of the album. Both the composition and arrangement are more bombastic, conveying the energy of an angry lover. However, Tommy herself simply doesn't have the vocal strength to deliver the power and anger she's trying to express.

The mood does change slightly in the second half of the album, as the outlook progressively becomes more positive. Gonna Change My Way of Life (Track 8) and Playground (Track 9) are more bombastic in every single aspect, and tries to pick up the emotional pit the album has been stuck in most of the way. Tommy's vocal, while still weak and somewhat monotonous by rock standards, loosens up a little bit over the course of these songs. Even though the sound is only different in volume and dynamic, this roughly 5-minute stretch helps carry the album to its ending.

Even though I Kill My Heart goes back to its melancholic emotions by the final track You Should Live in the Sunny Light (Track 11), it's worth appreciating just for sounding different from the rest of the album. The relatively quiet arrangement finally matches the mood of the song's other musical aspects, and Tommy's vocal here also sounds more expressive, simply because the arrangement is no longer overwhelming it. The sudden change to calmness is certainly a conscious choice; with lyrics such as "Your rain is melting my frozen heart/Bye, darling. I love you!", the song recalls the image of the pleading lover in the beginning of the album that's now determined to let go, and it works as an epilogue of sorts to the story the album is telling.

Putting this kind of thought into building a coherent story within an album is a nice decision on Tommy's part, but she has mostly relied on the lyrics, not the music, to do so. As a result, it's hard to see any kind of story structure from simply listening to the compositions and the arrangements. The music itself is enough to maintain a momentum that makes I Kill My Heart an entertaining pop album, but the genre deconstruction is not interesting enough to take Tommy heavenly6 beyond an image gimmick. Hopefully, Kawase's next alter ego will have something musically more interesting to offer.

by Kevin Ma